A series of embarrassing incidents

I've been feeling really glum and sorry for myself the last month or so. In a desperate bid to restore my smile and naughty twinkle, I've decided to share a few embarrassing anecdotes from my youth. I have several of these and gauging from your response, may write a series. Times were so much lighter and innocent then. I've been without laughter for too long. Who knows, it could make you chuckle too! Please let me know if you enjoyed reading about my excrutiating experience and would like to read more!

A series of embarrassing incidents................

The first cringe worthy event occurred in secondary school. I was in the first year feeling awkward, nervy, paranoid and tiny! What a sight I must have been in my stiff, brand spanking new uniform. My hair was in little skinny plaits (my mother will never be forgiven ever)! I had a brace (which I used to try and unsuccessfully lose behind the sofa)! I had hideous clumpy Clark's lace up shoes with a naff block heel. (I know Clark's is cool now, it wasn't in those days, trust me)! I was in a science lesson and was sent on an errand to the PE Department. Off I went delighted to escape a boring science lesson, blissfully unaware of the the mortifying shame that lay ahead...........

As I trotted along, I felt the eerie sensation of being watched. I turned around and saw to my excitement three tall, arrogant and impossibly cool fifth year boys walking behind me. One of whom was 'Anthony', a walking love god who made my heart quiver and stomach do flips! His hair was jet black and long, a silver crucifix dangled from his ear and he had a dangerous glint in his eye. I was besotted!

The thing was though, I was conscious of his presence behind me, I could feel his eyes burning into my nerdy little first year back. The swagger that boys in their final year of school have. The exaggeratedly loud voices, the inane laughter, the desperate attempt to give off vibes that 'they don't give a toss about anything'. They were the matches lighting my flame.

I self consciously hobbled towards the winking glass doors of the PE department. It felt like the clearness of the glass was about to reflect my humiliation and looming disbelief. After walking gingerly for what felt like a lifetime I was aware of an odd not altogether unpleasant loosening sensation around my waist. I think my mouth may have fallen open in an incredulous 'O' at this point and I really don't want to dwell on what I must have looked like!

The weird widening sensation continued for what seemed like an age. Things though were about to get far far worse.....I heard the staccato sound of elastic snapping. The next part felt like it was in slow motion, a nightmare I was unable to wake up from.

My knicker elastic had ceased to exist and my knickers were rolling dangerously down my bottom! My short, grey school skirt only had a matter of seconds before my misfortune was revealed to all!

I clearly remember thinking 'there are three of the coolest fifth years behind me witnessing my downfall (well, my knickers at any rate)! If they realise that i am about to lose my pants then I will die of shame! 'Whip them off, whip them off quick! They might not notice'! I thought to myself. (I know, as if! I was only 11 though and losing the will to live)!

Quick as a flash, I yanked at my knickers which accommodatingly lowered on one side. Eventually and excruciatingly the other side came down too. With an almighty tug my deflated pants plummeted down my legs. I desperately pulled at them, willing them to detach themselves in one quick swoop! Fate it seems had other plans for me......

My knickers decided to get caught round the heel of my shoe (Damn Clarks)! I am unable or rather unwilling to imagine the sight to behold for Anthony and the two 5thYears. Me wiggling about with my bottom in the air desperately untangling my unrecognisable knickers from my shoe.

Finally, in tears, I gave up and hopped to the PE department. I locked myself in the Girls changing rooms and cried my eyes out. I spent the remainder of that fateful day in utter misery and gym knickers!

Tara Davies © 2011